Boys Will Be Boys
I literally roll my damn eyes every time I hear someone (usually a woman) saying ‘Boys or be boys’ or saying, ‘Thats Men for you’. Most of the time, when I hear people utter these phrases, its to excuse some sort of shitty behaviour. “He doesnt clean the house or cook, he just plays games or watches tv all day”, “So why dont you do something about it”? “Nothing I can do, he is a man and thats what they are like” … Um … what? No! Hell to the N .. O!
DISCLAIMER: This post may ruffle some feathers, and thats ok, all Im asking is that we open up a minds to what we are teaching not only ourselves, but our kids and start a new way of thinking and perceiving.
STOP SAYING “BOYS WILL BE BOYS”
The argument that “Boys will be Boys” actually carries the profoundly anti-male implication that we should expect bad behaviour from boys and men. The assumption is that they are somehow not capable of acting appropriately, or treating girls and women with respect – Jackson Kat
Unknowingly, we are teaching our boys and/or our men that any unacceptable behaviour can be justified with “Boys will be Boys”. We are instilling Stories in their minds that if they do anything that is unsatisfactory or inappropriate, that its ok, because its what boys or men do, and society accepts this.
Men/Boys need to be made accountable for their actions, just as we (women) often are. Men and Women are not 50/50, we are 100/100. Equal. So why are we encouraging inequality by promoting phrases that allow them an out? We have been teaching our young boys that they will be excused from certain behaviours because we have learned, or taught ourselves to be tolerant of such.
We have learned to tolerate the outrageous double standards by programming the phrase ‘Boys will be boys’ into our own vocabulary and into our children.
When women explore their sensuality or sexuality, they are labelled ‘sluts’, ‘bitches’ or ‘hoes’. When men do exactly the same thing, they are praised and “BOYS WILL BE BOYS” is used to dismiss it.
STOP THE MOTHER-EFFIN DOUBLE STANDARDS!
This is the definition of a slut in the dictionary.
a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
a woman with low standards of cleanliness
So my question is this, what is A Man called who has many casual sexual partners? Ay? Let me guess? A Player, A Legend, A God? Why is he praised when a Woman is degraded? Lets start changing this fcked up ideology, please!
What makes it worse is that WOMEN are calling each other sluts. Iv recently had a conversation with someone who referred to young women who wear short skirts or skimpy clothing as Sluts and said that dirty old men will perve if you were next to nothing. As much as I had to say about that, and as much as I wanted to interject, in that particular moment, it was not something I wanted to delve into. Sometimes you just have to choose your battles.
I wont even attempt to cut through all of that mist in this post, that deserves a blog all on its own, but what I will do, is post a video exhibiting the judgement of others due to patriarchal thinking and living in one such society.
I dont think they (girls) need to (show skin). I think you can wear whatever you want. I think you can, one day, wear conservative sort of pantsuit or whatever and cover up, and then the next day, wear a mini skoot (skirt?) and thigh high boots if you want. I think it depends on your mood – Ariana Grande
STOP SAYING “HE HURTS YOU BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU”
Stop teaching girls that boys are mean to them because they like them – Sophie King @kingsophiesworld
Il tell you a story about one of the first times I was exposed to this.
When I was at school, there was a boy who was the most irritating person on the planet. He used to tease me, physically hurt me and basically bully me. I confided in a friend who unknowingly defended the behaviour immediately by saying ‘He teases you and hurts you because he likes you’. It didnt make sense to me at the time, but I went along with it and continued to see those repeated patterns for several more years of my life, until I started questioning this ridiculous behaviour.
In the opening credits of the 2009 movie, “He’s Not That Into You”, young Gigi is pushed onto the ground and belittled by a boy. Upset Gigi is then consoled by an adult who tells her that the young boy treated her that way because he likes her. URRRGGHHHH!!! Now, I know this is a movie, but this my friends, is our current reality. We are taught to accept and tolerate verbal, emotional and physical abuse from the opposite sex, for whatever reason… and this bullshit HAS GOT TO STOP!
AND FFS! STOP SAYING “THATS MEN FOR YOU”
By saying “Thats men for you”, you are encouraging men to excuse their laziness and also, places them on a level higher than our own. We are reducing our expectations of men ], dumbing them down and limiting their potential by encouraging these ass-backward belief systems. We are making excuses as to why they cannot possibly remember to communicate with us about something important because “He is a man, you cant expect him to remember to tell me that” – – True story – – I had someone say this to me, needless to say, it was very hard for me to hold my tongue. If Men can run a country (debatable), build and run businesses and empires, go to College/University, date several women at the same time (thats multi-tasking right there) , take a shit and remember to wipe their arses, then Girl, they Can wash the damn dishes and hang up the laundry!
Heres the Kicker
Its our fault. I blame Women, yep I said it. I blame Us, the Old Us, the Us that were deprived of our rights, the Us that were shunned or told off for having voices and being outspoken – True Story -, for being burned at the stake and called Witches because we were wiser than our male counterparts, the Us with no stage to stand on, the Us that made things easier for others by not speaking up, the Us that didnt want to be called a Nag, the US that didnt support each other in our growth, our love, our speech and our Freedom. We are NOT them! We have so many platforms to make a difference, however small, to the Rise of The Feminine, so I say its about time we fckn use it!
Lets support each other in making a stand. Stand up for what isnt right, stand up for those who are still afraid to speak up, who dont have the courage, or the support. Stand up and support each other, as women, individuals, mothers, friends, a community,… a Sisterhood … and stand up for Your Boys! Raise ’em right so other women dont have to fight x
RISE SISTER RISE!
Love, Light & Big Brassy Vaginas!