Lately, Iv been coming home from work and school pick, dying for a nap. Getting through the door and thinking about the Everest list of to-dos that have me stressing before I even plant my feet inside my home.
I am the co-owner of a business so naturally, that wee little nap that I so desperately desire is a distant dream.
Ok, so, … cook dinner, do washing, hang washing, fold washing, do dishes, empty dishwashing, pick up dog poop, bathe the little shit, homework, clean house, vacuum house, pick up after daughter because even though mummy has said that toys are getting thrown away if they are lying around or not put in their place – mummy is in major denial – and all this while continuing to work.
I think to myself, Fcuk this. Im going to enjoy a nice hot shower, and have 5mins to myself and my thoughts, and when Im done, Il tackle this motherload of a task list.
That shower saved my sanity. I always ask for guidance from the PTB (Powers That Be) and sometimes, … I get the answers when I least expect it.
“You are expecting too much of yourself”, I hear myself say.
Omg, Im right! Yes, Im a mother, a wife and a full time career woman, but why the hell does everything have to be so fucking perfect?
Why am I killing myself with frustration because the house isn’t clean? Girl, its not Friday, aint nobody coming to visit… and if they do, guess what, Im a busy ass mum with shit to do and places to go. As long as you can walk through my house without tripping over food, you’ll survive. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? If you need to do something for you, do it! Its not going to kill you to take 30mins to nurture yourself. If your kid is breathing, clean and seems somewhat coherent, guess what, you are doing an Amazing Fucking Job!
All Im saying ladies is this …
Lower your expectations of perfectionism.
Not everything has to be perfect! No-one is perfect and nothing is perfect so why do we put that expectation of perfection on ourselves? And you know that we do it to ourselves!
Your home is Your space. However, shit will get done eventually. I am also a big believer and advocate for minimalism, the less shit you have, the less stressed you are and extra bonus, the less shit you have to clean! (Check out my FB group next month for an Awesome Declutter challenge Il be doing!)
I love my home being tidy, like most people, but I can be such a perfectionist. Cleaning shit that most people would never notice in a million years! Anyone feel me here? So Im learning to let go of my own expectations in that respect.
Lower your expectations of yourself.
You don’t have to be On All the time. It doesn’t have to be GO GO GO every minute of the day. Lower your expectations on how you think you are suppose to behave and who you are suppose to be. I try to live authentically as much as I possibly can. I try at the best of times to honour myself, to saying no to things that do not serve me, and saying hell yes to the things that bring me joy.
Some of us are lucky enough to have other halfs who could do some of this shit that we take apon ourselves to do. If ‘hubby doesn’t do any housework’,… girl that’s on you. If your man can shower himself, dress himself, lift his arm to pick up a beer, that dude can do housework, but you know we enable them to be lazy ass bitches. Yep, I said it… Its our fault.
You are a beautiful soul that also needs to be taken care of and most of the time, you need to do that for yourself. No point bitching about hubby not pampering you. Girl, do it yo’self! If you want flowers, get you some flowers, if you want a massage, book it in! If hubby complains about you spending money on the massage, tell him that money could go in his pocket if he volunteers to do it… see how quickly that attitude changes.
Lower your expectations of Motherhood
Lower your expectations on how you think you are supposed to parent. There are days that you will stuff up royally and its completely OK.
Im pretty sure that if I say No to my daughters current sugar-inflicted feril-ness, she will survive, and I most definitely will be thanking myself later. I don’t HAVE to be the perfect mum… and FYI, there is No Such Fucking Thing!
You are just human and helloooo…. Parenthood and Motherhood did NOT come with a manual and every child IS NOT the same. They are all beautifully unique and annoying in their own way. Be authentic to how you feel and your instincts in regards to raising your children. I know that some may not agree with how I parent, and that’s my own business. I don’t agree with some things I see, but hey, I didn’t pop those kids out of my vajayjay so it aint my beeswax.
After my shower, in my more relaxed state, I decided to finish off the work I was doing. My husband came home and started doing the vacuuming. Say what? I know! I didn’t have to ask or bitch and moan about it. So, I let go of my own expectation that I had to do the vacuuming, and He ended up doing it. Call it law of attraction, release of energies, emotions and expectations that did not serve me or just sheer luck, it made me feel so much better.
So tomorrow, Im gona take a damn nap, even if its just 30mins, and maybe, Il get my daughter to rest with me because I want her to start learning to nurture herself too x
Love, Light and Big Brassy Vajayjays!