Its been a trying week. I cant exactly pin-point why, but I have a fair idea.
Being a mum has its challenges at the best of times, which most of you will already know. And Men are … not the easiest species to live with either .. but somehow we put up with them. The best way we know how anyway.
This week challenged me as a parent, a partner, a worker and a woman. Not for any particular reason, not because of some event but more because of some realisations and appreciations.
We as women (and mums) put up with, and do ALOT! I mean seriously ladies, we are the glue in our families… are we not? We are so busy keeping everyone and everything together that when we have a lull, or when its time for us to slow down, or take a breathe…. BOOM! Thought overload (and possible meltdown) ensues!
We just kinda do things without thinking, we are on automatic pilot ALL of the damn time. Doing washing, doing dishes, making sure lunches are packed, making sure there is food for school lunches, making sure the house is somewhat presentable, dropping kids (kid) and picking kid up from school, dealing with the whining of wee person before and after school, worse after school because kid wants to go sleep over at Blissy Blue Blues’ house and asks mum EVERY day, working .. from home, but working random hours of the day, trying to run and effective business/practice within school hours, trying to take care of myself by going to gym and going for walks, trying to diet .. but saying fck the diet because I hate that word and trying to eat healthy but not having the time (or not prioritising the time – po-tay-toes, po-taa-toes) to prep yo damn meals, trying to be a good partner but being irritated when the poophead leaves his shoes right infront of the door, and on top of it all… trying to plan A WEDDING! Yes! I know – for those who know me personally ***aaahhhhhhhh!*** (*angelic music plays*). Phew! Now to most of you, all this shit might not sound like much, but to me, all these things are significant to my life and they also can contribute to a massive amount of stress. Especially when this is my life… every single day (yes including stupid shoes being left at the front door).
I like autopilot sometimes, I like not overthinking shit, as I do on a regular basis. However, there are times, when my thoughts REALLLY go into overdrive, ESPECIALLY when my routine, becomes routine. I start getting bored, start doubting myself, mood swings set in, and worse of all, mostly this week, Iv been having these weird thoughts. Thoughts that make ME question my integrity.
Iv been wanting a time out. From my daughter, from my partner, from my daily routine. Sounds terrible right? At least thats what I was thinking in the beginning. How could I think those thoughts? I love my life! Of course there are things that could be improved, but I have my health, I have an amazing daughter who reminds me so much of me it scares me, I have an intelligent, caring, loving baby daddy who I havent managed to drive completely insane yet, I Love my job, even though its not what I planned to do but its ‘ours’ so Im passionate about it, I have a small but incredible group of friends who mean the world to me, family members who I love dearly, a beautiful home that … You get the gist right? I am one lucky bizartch!
However, I think sometimes, we ALL need a time out – or time for ourselves, to reconnect, to re-align with ourselves and that higher source. It keeps us sane and keeps us grounded, fills us up and reminds us that we are a part of something much bigger. So yea, Im not going to feel bad about wanting to go away for a day or so, by myself, or with my girls, to just… chill da fug out! and you know what, maybe one of these days, Il actually make it happen ha ha ha!
Until then though, I need to remind myself to set aside time for me, every day, even if its for 5mins to start off with. Meditate, listen to some calming music, taking a bath, Yoga… SLEEP! Im only getting about 6hours at the moment. Still working on those elusive 8 hours of sleep!
Which reminds me. I need to get my ass to bed RIGHT NOW! No more late night TV Eish!
Let me know though, how has your week been? Anyone else feeling the same this week? How do YOU spend your You-time?
Sanity & Sleep