Do you believe that you can lose a skill/talent/ability that you have if you havent used in a while? Or do you think you can get it back?
This is a question I am asking myself after deciding to get back into choreographing and dancing after 4 years of not doing so.
Its so easy for my inner critic to say ‘You suck’ or ‘Youve lost it’ but I believe that if you have the passion for something, you can reteach yourself or get better … Right?
So, I dont have the time for this, Im a busy working mummy and wife, but dancing is and has always been a part of who I am. One day in the not so distant past I told Mila that I used to teach dance and she was like ‘What? My mummys a teacher?’ And, with a heavy heart I responded, ‘Yea,… I used to be’. It saddened me because through all those times I brought her to class with me, cheering us on in her portacot, … she doesnt and wont remember, that her Mommy was kinda a badass once apon a time.
Dont get me wrong, this is not why I choreographed 6 bars of 8 this morning. Mila being able to tell her friends how proud of me she is, is not a motivation to do this.
I used to be one of those people (still happens on occasion) who would choreograph shit while driving, get their inspiration when walking, or in the shower, or in the friggun grocery store. Music and dance was part of my everyday experience.
So when did it stop? I moved to the Gold Coast, I stopped teaching some months after the move and I didnt have my ‘network’. I didnt have those people around me who knew me as the dancer, the teacher blah blah blah…. and I started working a full time ordinary job, far from my teaching life… and I guess after a while, I forgot that part of me too. Now and then though, Il see a sick choreography, or hear an amazing piece of music that I would love to choregraph to, but … that confidence in myself that I once had, is now to a salt sized minimum.
Iv attempted to get back into it, gone to a few classes and enjoyed most of them, but just never stuck with them, for some of other reason. Making excuses ya know … ‘Hello Fear!’
So I asked myself why? Why do I long to do the things I used to do, physically and mentally, move my body and feel the way I used to, but then not do anything about it? As Mel Robbins says, ‘Theres no such thing as Motivation’ … so I gotta start somewhere, get back into a class, Regularly! Start choreographing, even if its just for myself and to move my body. Listen to music more, the kind that inspires my soul and moves my feet… and start believing, that I can do this, regardless of the fact that my body feels it cant. I Remember being 36 weeks pregnant, teaching Hip Hop to my seniors, going into a full dip onto the floor and hearing “*Gasp* Miss Candice!” – Yep, not even a preggy body stopped me back then, so why should I let the extra weight stop me now? … So Im committing to myself that it wont. My fears, my doubts, … even time, wont stop me. I Will inspire myself, no matter how long it takes.
So watch this space! Who knows what might happen in the next 4 years?? #Patience #JustKeepSwimming
What do you or did you used to do that you no longer participate in? Do you miss it? Would you do it again? Id love to hear your story?!
Love, Light & Funky Tracks